Stop Torchering Your Hairstylist!

Okay, here is something all of us cosmetologist can relate to. If you’re not a cosmetologist, but would like to be one, this is what you have to look forward to. And if you’re not a cosmetologist but you get your hair done by one, READ THIS. I’ve been working in this industry for some time now to learn my own pet peeves when it comes to clients, and to learn my coworkers as well. I’m a people watcher so if I’m not actively cutting a client’s hair but someone else is, I will watch because I’m a curious four-year-old at heart. I pay attention to conversations and how stylists go about solving their clients problems. While watching, I not only notice in myself but also the stylist who is working at the moments frustrations when clients say or do stupid things. Now, I’m not pointing fingers at anyone because honestly you are all guilty in one way or another for these things. So here is a list of things not to do at a salon….

1. First things first, before you waste your breath asking me if I went to school for this. YES, YES I DID.

2. Do not sit down in the chair and say, “I just want it shorter”. NO SHIT. I thought by a “haircut” you meant you wanted me to take our hair clippings from the day and super glue them to your head… This is not a funny joke. I will not fake laugh at it.

3. Don’t bash the last stylist who cut your hair. I have had my fair share of bad haircuts growing up. I usually had to go to my aunt to get it fixed! *And I bashed the person who cut my hair! I know, hypocrite.* But the more I work in this industry the more I learn about the things people go through in their home life. I had to cut hair on my brother’s one year anniversary of his passing, I literally wanted to cry all day. I could barely focus on what I was doing. (Thank God nobody came back in for a redo!) I realized after that day that, as a hairstylist, we are still not meant to be 100% perfect. Not to mention that you maybe had unrealistic expectations or you didn’t explain things properly. I will say this though, Do tell your stylist if something is not right! Let us fix it right away.

4. This brings me to my next thing; don’t say you like something or it’s okay if it is not. Stop lying. Tell that stylist what’s not working. How can we make you happy if you don’t speak up?

5. Don’t smoke right before walking in the door. Seriously. Your cigarette smell is making me want to puke. It’s 10 times worse when we wet down your hair. I can only hold my breath for so long.

6. Don’t bring in a pinterest picture and expect exactly that. I promise you will be disappointed. Unless you have that exact same hair type, it will not look like that. Or if you want platinum blonde but you’re naturally damn near black in one shot… HA, you’re funny girl. Get the hell outta town. But for real, pictures are great, just bring in a few different ones of what you’re thinking. That way we can work out what’s best for your hair type. And you won’t be let down when it doesn’t look exactly like the one picture you showed.

7. Do not tell your stylist how to do their job. LEAVE MY COMB ALONE. DON’T TOUCH MY HAIR DRYER. If you can do a better job than me, go home and grab your kitchen shears and have at ‘er. Seriously, go to town. But don’t come back in crying for us to fix your botch job up. Nope. Not my place. I went to school for this, I’m educated in this field. Yes I might be half your age and I know I look 12, but i know what i am doing. Stop telling me how to do MY job.

8. Coming in with extremely dirty hair or product in your hair. Look, I get it. Maybe you only had time right after work to stop in and get a hair cut, just pay extra for a shampoo. PLEASE. Your dirty grimy hair is probably ruining my clippers and shears and in all honesty I hate getting new stuff. It’s like breaking in a new pair of boots that are super tight on your feet. New tools take a while to get used to and I hate it. I will cut my knuckles for a long time after new shears. Not to mention we can smell your sweat and we want to throw up.

9. Do not. Let me repeat this. DO NOT sit down in the chair and say, “I want something different but I don’t want to take any length off” okay, I can give you a mullet or we can take some length off. You decide.

10. Don’t ask if we can do something implying that we cannot. “Can you cut a flattop?” Can I slap you for asking something so stupid? “can you do a fade?” No. The state board just granted me my license so I can fuck your shit up… “Are you good at cutting bangs?” Am I good at talking shit? “Do you know how to do a hard part?” Nope. It’s only one of the most popular haircuts today but I decided to never learn it…. — seriously guys, when you do this, you’re belittling us. And you’re hurting our confidence which is an important thing in this industry. Please stop.

11. Put down the phone. No really, put it away. When your stylists calls you to come back to their chair and you give us the “one second finger” I swear to you we are ready to bite your head off like a black fucking widow. DO NOT GIVE ME THAT ONE SECOND FINGER. Also, that text can wait 10 minutes. Trust me, your phone won’t magically delete it on you. Just wait.

12. “ATTENTION PASSENGERS: Please keep your hands inside the vehicle at all times!” Or in this case, UNDER THE CAPE. Do not complain that you are full of hair, you didn’t stay under the Cape as directed. This is your fault. Don’t blame me. Go be itchy for the rest of your day.

13. For the love of God, do not show up three minutes to close and say, “oh do you have time for one more quick haircut?” Because inside my head I have slapped you 48,291 times. We have things to do in our home life too. We do not live at the salon nor do we wish to.

14. Do not say, “oh just cut the ends a bit” okay. I’m glad you said that. I usually only cut the middle or the top. But please clarify the amount you want off now that I know where I’m taking it from.

15. DO YOU KNOW WHAT AN INCH IS! Okay, I get it boys, you probably do not know how long an actual inch is, but girls I know you do. If you say an inch off and then cry that its too short….you should’ve studied your ruler.

16. I am not responsible for combing your kids hair. DO NOT. I. REPEAT. DO NOT. Bring your daughter in with ratty hair and tell me, “oh she doesn’t like to brush her hair” Wait a minute. Who the fuck is the adult here? You. You are. BRUSH YOUR CHILDS HAIR. You do realize that is part of being a parent right? I am not a parent. Especially not a parent to your kid so brush their damn hair. Stop being lazy.

17. This goes out to the parents again, DO NOT BRING YOUR KID IN WITH HEADLICE! First of all, we will not cut the kids hair. Second, we now have to waste 25 minutes of our time bleaching everything at our station. And thirdly, we do not want headline. Others who come I’m do not want headlice. Take care of that stuff at home. NOT OUR JOB.

18. Don’t tell us your little boy is scared of clippers because guess what, now he is. Why? Because you just put it into their head. Teach them not to be afraid. Y’all are raising a weak ass generation, this world is doomed.

19. My work station is not your coat hanger. I seriously cannot get over how many people just throw their stuff on my work area and plop down in my seat. What the actual fuck. How am I suppose to get my things if you have your crap on it?

20. Last but not least, tip your stylist. Seriously, that’s a thing. Don’t act like you don’t know it. We do our best to meet your standards and if we do a good job, tip us.

Alright, I know I’m missing a few things so don’t be surprised if I eventually do another post like this but here ya go. Things not to do at a salon. If you wanna look good, you better start acting right! 😂

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